<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Dating Profile: Ratchet of Vaporex by PixeledPurple</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29967567">Dating Profile: Ratchet of Vaporex</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixeledPurple/pseuds/PixeledPurple'>PixeledPurple</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Transformers - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>But it's About Him so I Figured I Should Tag Him, Can This Please Be a Tag, Grouchy Ratchet, Hope I Succeded, Online Dating, Ratchet's Not Technically in This, Twins Being Pranksters, cross-faction, dating profile, meant to be funny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:46:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>560</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29967567</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixeledPurple/pseuds/PixeledPurple</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Deadlock stumbles across something he shouldn't.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dating Profile: Ratchet of Vaporex</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Deadlock sighed as he walked into his quarters.  It had been one of those days.  Megatron was furious, something to do with Starscream, as usual.  He had stopped paying attention.  About to walk into the washracks, he heard his console ping.</p>
<p>Anything else, and he would have ignored it, but that particular sound was reserved for just one thing.  Deadlock walked over to the console, turning it on and hoping against hope to not get more bad news.</p>
<p>He read the screen, cycled his optics, read it again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Search Alert: Ratchet</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Results From: Autobot Love Seekers</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <i>Name: Ratchet of Vaporex<br/>Alt Mode: Ambulance</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Likes: My Wrench, Quality Energex, Good Healthcare, Reading</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Dislikes: Idiots, Stupid Questions, Sand</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Looking for: Some peace and quiet, Someone who can make me happy, put up with my temper, and give me a good frag</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>My Perfect Date: Watching a sunset anywhere but the beach with some good energex.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>A Bit More:  I’m looking for someone to love, someone to fill my lonely nights and my empty berth.  I need someone who will tell me when I’m being an aft and make me happy so I stop being one.  I may be old and tired and cranky, but in my youth I was known as the Party Ambulance!  I need someone who can bring me back to those good old days and teach me to loosen up and have a good time instead of yelling at everyone who comes into my medbay about why they’re an idiot for getting their arm blown off.  Or whatever.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Deadlock squinted at the screen incredulously.  Ratchet surely had better grammar than that.  This was likely a trick.  But no one could possibly know about his alerts, he had made sure of that.  Just in case, it was better to be prepared, he thought, searching for the most romantic sunset views in this galaxy — that did not have any sand.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div>"This is terrible," Sunstreaker complained.<p>"What do you want?  He wouldn’t answer any of my questions!"</p>
<p>"You didn’t even write anything for the last one."</p>
<p>"He was getting too suspicious.  Besides, how do you ask someone what they like to do on a date without making them think you’re asking them out on a date?"</p>
<p>"We’ll just have to make something up.  What does Ratchet like to do?"</p>
<p>"Yell at us?  Throw things?  Fix people?"</p>
<p>Sunstreaker tapped a finger on the consul, "No, he said he wants peace and quiet."</p>
<p>"Watching the sunset on the beach?" Sideswipe suggested.  "Or no, not the beach, he hates sand.  We should add that to his dislikes."</p>
<p>"Watching a sunset anywhere but the beach," Sunstreaker spoke as he typed.  "With some good energex."</p>
<p>"Oh we should add that to his likes! Quality energex!"</p>
<p>"There, how’s that look?" Sunstreaker asked, leaning back to let his twin review his work.</p>
<p>"Can’t we flesh it out some more?  He’s never gonna get a date with this."</p>
<p>"Yeah, we need to make him sound more interesting."</p>
<p>"Oh wait, I know!" Sideswipe pushed over to the screen.</p>
<p>"'Party Ambulance'?  Is that even true?" Sunstreaker asked, looking over his shoulder as he typed.</p>
<p>Sideswipe shrugged, "I heard Ironhide say it once.  Besides, it sounds good!"</p>
<p>"Good point!  I think that’s good."</p>
<p>"And post!" Sideswipe said, dramatically hitting the button.  "You sure this is a good idea?"</p>
<p>"'Course!  Would could go wrong?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I imagine the twins are not the best at grammar or writing skills in general.  Comments and kudos appreciated! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>